Log #3

Shiiit. Just when things seem like they are almost safe, something happens to throw them back up in the air. I am continually reminded of something a high school history teacher said about freedom and security being opposed and that any increase in one involves a decrease in the other. I am still having waves of anxiety about how to pay the rent while simultaneously remaining convinced that I am not to give into the pressure to submit and get a "day job". I have confidence in the value of what I am doing and working on far beyond the value I would bring behind a counter or a desk, but that isn't necessarily enough to get by on. Or is it? I just don't fucking know. I have realized that I need to pick a point that will represent "failure", though I see the whole process as successful in that I tried, that way I can keep calm until I reach that point and not stress out about the unknown future. I'm not sure what I will establish as the circumstances for quitting my project, but I have a little time to think about it...