Jeremy, thanks for sharing so much on this blog! I wonder if others will see the opportunity in it that you have. If not, no big deal I guess. Sometimes my hopes become expectations and that's never a healthy thing, but I guess its always important to try, right?
I think spring is a powerful season - actually the most powerful season, because its an obvious phase of change for us and our surroundings, and obviously a time of growth and rebirth. I wonder sometimes how we are so intrinsically connected to the world in this way, that when new plants are born, we feel some sort of urge to be reborn too. As people who pursue art and music, it resonates that part of our world all the more I think.
I had a walk that turned into a meditation last night, which I was reminded of when I read the quote that John shared with you. Finding balance between experiencing the world and acting in it can be difficult, but I think that is where some significant meaning lies.
While I was walking, my head was spinning, probably in spiral-like forms, transcending further into a rather esoteric, and thus, pointless matter in my head. I've recently found a new passion in songwriting, but immediately feel frustrated because I don't have as much expressive skills on piano and guitar as I wish I had. Its one of those situations where I want all my musical abilities to be on par with my most expert musical abilities. Which is obviously silly, and I consciously realize that. But what can you do?
While I was coming to some powerful realizations about my musical past, trying to connect the dots and come to new, more profound conclusions, my mind seemed so cluttered, it just wanted to shut off. And I realized, then and there, that that was the most important step I could come to. My mind has been getting in the way of my music. As it does more often than not.
So as I was walking along the street, I just shut my inner dialogue completely down (over time of course, meditation is a slow process obviously) but it was so beautiful to experience the simplest of surroundings in the most deep and meaningful way. We all have this happen in moments of our life, but its when you prolong those moments when you come to know bliss, you know?
And I realized that all the artists and musicians who have really found the deepest levels of their self-expression, they weren't sitting there thinking "I need to do this" or "perhaps I will sound like this" or any intellectualization of their work. They just do. They feel the calling, they don't question it, and they just do. they act. Don't judge, don't question, don't doubt, don't fear, just do.
And as simple as that is... its surprisingly difficult to manifest in your life, in the things that you care deepest about. But its like that quote iterates - open yourself to the world, and it will present itself to you in all its beauty. There is inner beauty that can come out too, and express itself in countless ways, but only if you are able to open yourself fully to it. Here's to spring!